I have a full time job and then some. It has been about eight weeks since I took the position after completing my MFA degree in Creative Writing. And I now no longer have time to write everyday. It is often frustrating, probably adds to some of my sleep issues and exhaustion, but I will make it work, I am making it work.
What is frustrating sometimes is to read about other people’s time. How other writers are already lucky enough to be able to get up in the morning and write full time (no matter how hard and painful that too can be). How other writers are able to write at five a.m. before work or two a.m. after it. I can say I wish I had that discipline, but my not pulling all nighters has nothing to do with a lack of discipline. It should surprise no one that (despite insomnia issues) I like to sleep, need to sleep. Because, despite my passion, my life force that is writing, I am not ashamed to say that I need sleep because I would also like to be good at my job.
I want my job to be writing, but until then I want to be good at my day job now. I want to do a good job because it also makes me feel good, because I also enjoy the fact that I can afford groceries and put gas in my car. That is also a success. I need sleep so that I can get up for work in the morning and do good work, the same way I want to do good work when I write. I know that good work certainly won’t happen if I can’t feed myself, if I can’t keep my eyes open, if I can’t hold my head up and respect myself from 9:00 to 5:30 on a regular day. So I don’t write everyday, hate that I can’t. But I don’t hate that when I do find the time, make the time, use the time, I am not only proud of the writing, but the work I do to make it possible.
Now for a little rest from work and introspection. Going out (as Indiana Jones if anyone was wondering). Happy Halloween.