“I am what I am, an’ I’m not ashamed. ‘Never be ashamed,’ my ol’ dad used ter say, ‘there’s some who’ll hold it against you, but they’re not worth botherin’ with,’” – Hagrid, “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire”
Today is International Asexuality Day. The first was celebrated in 2021. The goals of the day are: Advocacy. Celebration. Education. Solidarity.
I love to focus on education. Asexuality is not new. It is not an “Internet” identity. In fact, German sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld described asexual people in a pamphlet he wrote back in 1896. You can read more about the full timeline of ace history here.
But today, instead of educating more or celebrating, I am heartbroken. Broken in a place that I thought had already shattered as much as it could.
It is not news to any YA lit fans that J.K. Rowling, the once-celebrated author of the Harry Potter series, has now long been transphobic and used her vast platform not only to berate the trans community but also to spread misinformation. It is not news to any queer Harry Potter fans that the books we love have been tainted by an author who does not. It is also not news to anyone who knows me that Harry Potter had a huge impact on my life. It literally taught me to read.
Now, as someone who spends a significant amount of time battling misinformation about my own part of the queer community, with my very small platform, I understand that this continuing david vs. goliath battle of knowledge is no small struggle for all queer people, and the trans community most specifically.
But today, ON International Asexuality Day, J.K. Rowling decided to expand her misinformation campaign to target not only my wider Queer community, but me, specifically (see screenshot below).
J.K. Rowling has long claimed that her views on trans rights stem from her experience of abuse as a cis woman. And, while those far wiser than I have written about the flaws in her argument, she made an argument. She continues to make problematic arguments.
But today, there was no argument posted, no links to falsehoods or studies that have been disproven. There was just a blanket statement born from a lack of knowledge, and posted for no reason other than to cause insult and harm.
If J.K. Rowling embraced the actual spirit of the day, she would work on the education piece. She would learn that the same way gay means sexually or romantically attracted to people of one’s own sex, asexual means having little or no sexual attraction. She would also learn that being asexual does not define sexual behavior or sexual desire (libido). Since aces exist outside the heteronormative standards they are, undeniably, a part of the wider queer community.
She could ask any questions she has; millions of people would be willing to answer, instead of just making assumptions. She could ask me, or many many others. She could have spread real facts today, and knowledge about asexuality, and attempted to better the world for the 1% of us that are asexual. She could reach far beyond the small audience my social media or this blog will impact.
But, to keep things really simple, J.K. Rowling, honestly, could have taken today and done nothing. She could have bought an island, donated to dig wells in Africa, basked in the glow of the stories she told that embraced diversity and kindness. She could have spent the day with her husband, her children, or any other constellation of friends and family. Instead, she took thirty seconds to insult a group of people it is very clear she doesn’t actually know.
And she trampled on my heart, even when I thought I was beyond her being able to hurt me. I’m asexual. I’m not a robot. I do not lack feelings, emotions, or love. I can be wounded. But I can also choose to heal. And that’s why I educate. And I write. And I am here.
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